If you want your children to know how much you love them, does your face light up when they walk into the room?
As a mother, I cannot think of anything more important than loving your child and letting them know that you accept them just the way they are.
I understand the challenges of parenthood as I raised three children, including a set of twins. There were those days I thought I would never get through. Like when my son was two years old.
We walked into a toy store to buy a birthday gift for his cousin – a big mistake! He just didn’t understand that he couldn’t take “Big Bird” off the shelf and walk out with it. So, my two-year-old, acting just like a two-year-old, dropped to the floor wailing as he rolled down the aisles like a rolling pin, all the while screaming “Big Bird.”
I started sweating, not knowing what to do, as all eyes were on me for the next right move. That is until an older mom approached me and said, “Don’t ever be embarrassed by your children.” I never forgot that one. So, I scooped him up and headed out of the store.
I learned two huge lessons that day. Never be embarrassed by what your child does, and never- ever bring your toddler into a toy store or any place that will create emotionally charged behavior. At least until they’re 22.
Who said that the days are long but the years are short? Gretchen Rubin did. Super moms and dads know this all too well.
*Although I refer to super moms and super dads throughout this article, my true intention is to highlight the habits of super parents (in all their forms). I recognize the single super mom who has no dad to tag team with. As well as the single super dad who is also a mom to his kids. I acknowledge the families with 2 mommies or 2 daddies and applaud all that they do for their children regardless of the household composition. Traditional family structures may change but what it means to be a super parent will always remain the same; that you prioritize the love, care, health and happiness of your children above everything else.
The Importance of Organization for Super Moms & Dads
There was nothing more important to me than being a mother. I took care of them well before they took their first breath. Though they’re all grown up now, the caring and the loving and the worrying never end.
But how do you develop the habits of organized super moms and dads? You do it by creating structure, routine, and stability through organization. I do think that when we’re organized we are creating a good life for our children because it makes their life easier and it teaches lifelong important skills.
Here are some practical tips that organized super moms and dads swear by
8 Habits of an Organized Super Mom
Super organized moms create systems that work for them. It becomes a game changer when managing a household, dealing with family, an overwhelming list of things to do and unrelenting demands on their time. Here’s what they do to keep the day rolling:
- They make a schedule according to their responsibilities. And, then block out their committed time and work around it to get things done.
- They create a routine and stick to it.
They Tag Team with Dad
- They’re ready to parent by getting up before the kids to kick start their day. A peaceful cup of coffee then showers, so they’re prepared to handle mishaps or unexpected situations, which is the inevitable woes of parenthood.
- Super organized parents prepare the night before such as emptying the dishwasher, laying out clothes, filling out forms, making lunches, organizing healthy snacks and checking backpacks.
- They keep up rather than catch up. Having to constantly play catch-up is draining and it’s a burden that puts thorns in your time and spoils precious moments with loved ones. Keeping a routine for laundry, managing clutter, and cleaning up as they go is the silver stress-free bullet.
- They do things right then and there, such as cleaning up right after a meal and putting away the dry cleaning. This makes sense because it saves a bundle of time. They don’t have to stop, think about it again then go back and retrace their steps and do it.
- They know that one of the best ways to manage their time is to say “No” to unfair requests of their time.
- Super parents have a place for everything and everything in its place. That’s their assurance against disorganization. The bonus is, when they are scurrying to race out of the house, they can find what they’re looking for and with luck, get to their appointment on time.
8 Habits of an Organized Super Dad
Just the other day my 16-month-old grandson looked at a favorite picture, pointed to it and said “Dada.” My son-in-law quickly jumped in and said, “What about mama? She did the hard work. She gave birth to you.”
My daughter and son-in-law are a team. They support one another and they are best friends. No wonder my grandson runs around all day saying, “Happy!”
I’ve known and seen the most amazing fathers you can imagine. I’ve seen them in my own family. They do, they sacrifice, and they’re always there. Dads who cook, clean the pots, give baths, and they go on school outings. They teach integrity and kindness. Mostly, by being a role model and setting an example. They’re all in. Whether it’s braiding hair or teaching lessons that last a lifetime, including good manners (I know my dad did) it’s their unwavering presence that creates their Mr. Mom status.
Here’s what makes Him Super:
- Mr. Mom isn’t doing anything extra or special. He’s not just helping. He knows the impact of being a hands-on dad. It’s part of who he is and what he needs to do for the family.
- He puts his family first and makes it a priority.
- He juggles work and the demands of parenthood. You can’t replace being there. Great dads show up and they’re involved. Doctor appointments are on their calendars which have also been cleared for coaching sports, 1 on 1 kid time and meeting teachers at back-to-school night.
- He rolls up his sleeves and does all the messy things that mamas have always done: change dirty diapers, clean up vomit, change sheets in the middle of the night. He’ll mop up spills, soothe a crying baby, and get up with a sick child. He’ll also dry eyes and comfort his child because someone hurt their feelings.
- He has patience. Whether it’s reading the same book over and over (little ones like repetition) or listens carefully, endlessly as his child explains something.
- Super dads ask questions, know what’s going on at school and with friends.
- This guy shares household responsibilities with his partner.
- He’s not afraid to say, “I love you.”
Parenting roles and styles may bump heads and parenthood itself changes throughout the years. Who does what, where and when changes because life changes and doesn’t stay the same. It all works as long as there is a steadfast commitment to your names, “Dad” and, “Mom.”
The Evolution of Parenting
Parenting today looks very different from the parenting of a few decades ago. Though the fundamentals are just the same, things have changed quite a bit in the last 70 years. Sure, moms and dads still have to deal with dirty diapers, temper tantrums, and juice stains today, but there are new challenges to contend with. So, what was parenting like in the past?
Parenting in the ’50s
- In the 1950s, children weren’t the center of the family universe the way they are now. Parents were the most essential pieces of the family unit and paid more attention to each other.
- Parents trusted their children more and showed their trust by giving their children more responsibilities, which helped build confidence.
- Good manners such as “please” and “thank you” were taught to all children. Unlike today, when common courtesies aren’t all that common.
- Parents also allowed for failure, kept it simple, and birthday parties were at home.
Parenting in the ’60s
- Every child was given chores to do at home and was expected to contribute in some way. Not only did this teach them valuable skills, but it prepared them for life where they were also expected to contribute.
- Having a family dinner together was a routine and expected part of everyday life. Now, schedules are busy and family members tend to eat dinner individually or in front of the TV.
- Unscheduled downtime for children was a given and promoted executive function skills. Today, unscheduled time for children is often thought of as wasted time.
- Sugar was in everything, parents had no issues correcting other people’s kids and family time was a requirement.
Parenting in the ’70s
- First-time moms in the ’70s were much younger than first-time moms today. This was due to immense societal pressure around getting married and having children. Now women can enjoy a career and a family later on in life. Children were used to unsupervised play but also with greater discipline techniques that taught them there were consequences to their actions.
- Parents didn’t stress as much about the germs their kids caught from playing outside or about safety enforcement rules such as wearing helmets.
- There was no such thing as a designated parenting style, kids were used to more freedom and there were likely Legos everywhere.
Parenting in the ’80s
- Kids played outside more often in the 1980s and spent hours alone outside, without supervision.
- Kids were grounded. Regularly. For just about every offense. Now, parents take a softer (more reasonable?) approach to discipline.
- TV time (hours of watching the standard ‘80s movies) along with quiet games and toys were the normal playtime experience.
- Kids were kids and parents were the law, a bicycle was the only transport a kid needed and everyone shared a phone.
Parenting in the ’90s
- Mobile phones weren’t compulsory. Yes, they existed in the ’90s but before the invention of smartphones with internet access, they weren’t used for anything but communication. Now, every child has a cell phone in case of an emergency.
- Parents weren’t as worried about safety practices, such as letting kids play on damaged playground equipment or with questionable toys.
- Parental control on the internet wasn’t as strict and many kids even stayed up late to watch ‘adult’ shows with their parents.
- It was a simpler time with less parenting concerns, and birthday parties were backyard affairs attended by the whole neighborhood.
Parenting in the 21st Century
As you can see, parenting has changed quite a bit over the decades and even more as we progress further into the 21st century. I like to think that the rise of super moms and dads’ means parenting has improved. Yes, kids spend less time outside and more time with technology (over-scheduled, social media–filled lives today), but parents are a lot more hands-on than in the past. Plus, the increase of hands-on dads who tag team with mom to do work around the house and spend quality time with their kids is something we are all grateful for!
Things Our Parents Said
Do you remember those funny quotes or phrases your parents always said? Honestly, half of them didn’t make much sense. So, you would roll your eyes, nod your head and just carry on with what you were doing anyway. But as an adult, do you find yourself repeating some of them to your kids today?
When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.Erma Bombeck
- “Money doesn’t grow on trees you know.” (Famous)
- “Don’t do as I do, do as I say.” (Hypocritical, but always valid from a parent)
- “Because I said so.” (There was nowhere to go with this one)
- “If your friend jumped off a bridge would you jump off a bridge?”
- “Stop crying before I give you something to cry about!” (Always worked)
- “You’ll understand when you are a parent.”
Hands-on parents know the following things:
- Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then, silence is suspicious.
- The strange role reversal of having your toddler sweep the kitchen floor (their new favorite thing) as you watch Sesame Street and laugh.
- How much you can finally appreciate your own super mom and dad.
And, those are the habits of super moms and dads!
What funny things did your parents say?
PIN IT FOR LATER:
There is a funny video going around that touches on this topic. In many ways, parenting seems to have been easier when I was a child. But I do believe that societal pressures are always morphing, and each generation has its challenges and advantages. When it comes to parenting, more empathy and less judgment is usually a good way to go!
This is definitely a hot topic. When I first wrote about it on my Instagram page, it created a huge dialogue about expectations. I wanted to keep the conversation going as I knew it hit a nerve.
More empathy, as you mentioned, kept me totally sane when my then two-year-old was having a major temper tantrum and rolling around the aisles of the toy store. It may sound comical but if that more senior mom didn’t step in, I might have started to roll along with him.
One of the most important ways parenting has changed over the decades is that dad’s are so much more involved and hands-on. Thank goodness! There’s just so much that any
one person can do .
I’d love to see the video if you happen to have the link.
I love how you broke down the evolution of parenting by decade. So right on!
Something I remember my mom saying was funny, but stuck with me and has served me well. When I was young and hesitated to approach someone with a question, my mom would say “what’s the worst thing they can say to you? No.” Putting it that simply gave me the strength to speak up for myself. What’s the worst thing that I could get as a response? No. That’s not so bad.
Thank you, Janet! I grew up in Detroit, Michigan in the 60s and life was so different then. I imagine that every generation says that.
I do recall my parent’s famous sayings. They make me laugh today. At the time I’m sure I rolled my eyes.
I can tell that your mother was absolutely lovely and very tuned in to your feelings. How lucky for you!
I absolutely love all of the things our parents said! I’m pretty sure that my parents indeed did say every one of these! And it’s so funny because there are so many things that my parents said and I vowed to never say, yet now I find the same phrases escaping my lips! Parenting has certainly changed over time, but really the core of parenting has not. ?
I’m laughing as I’m writing this because I thought the exact same thing. I found myself saying many of the same little phrases and snippets of wisdom to my kids. Though when I was growing up, I’m sure I rolled my eyes.
I think when it comes right down to it, we do the very best we can with all the information we have at the time.
Inspiring article, interesting reading
I’m so glad you found the article inspiring. I really try to make it as interesting as possible for my readers.
This was a great read. I like how you broke down parenting styles by decade and the different parenting styles of each decade. Things are sure different now from the 1950’s
Thank you, Ramona!
I really appreciate your comments. Parenting has certainly changed over the years. I grew up in the 60s and 70s so I can tell you it’s really different today. Growing up, my parents were definitely the authority. I might have questioned them but I knew their decisions would never change.